The boys of summer

On an evening walk yesterday, I occasioned to see six different male caucasians, age 15-17, loitering around the neighborhood in two separate packs. It was as if all of them had frantically text messaged one another before leaving the house to coordinate their look down to the most exacting detail, because I could in no way whatsoever tell any of them apart other than mild haircolor variations.

Thus I present to you here the well-heeled teenage suburban male fashion zeitgeist of summer '05:

• Oversized "tea length" cargo shorts that hit just below the knee, back side pulled down to reveal rumpled boxer shorts.
  
  
• XXL polo-type collar shirts, pulled halfway down over random print t-shirts, as though the wearer had gotten dressed in the back seat of a car. Collar is to be tentatively, noncommitally turned up in back partway, as if by accident, imparting to the wearer a hint of James Spaderian alpha-preppie menace circa 1985.
  
  
• Shaggy, girlish, Chris Makepeace summer camp hairstyles, the kind that used to piss off tense, button down dads in the 1970's.
  
  
• Nondescript, dark-colored clompy skate shoes with the laces tucked in, and short, white ankle socks.
  
  
• Baseball hats smashed down on the longish hair, bill pointed forward, but cast slightly to one side, at some specific angle. Note: these are not sports team hats, but rather hats bearing sports logos for individualistic, board-based sporting activities.