Let the nano-harassment begin

It might seem a little early to start thinking about this now, but you might need the lead time to talk yourself into it. I'm referring to Nanowrimo, the annual attempt by thousands to write a 50,000-word novel in the month of November, something that I have twice attempted, resulting in questionable mountains of prose about muddled anti-heroes on unclear personal quests. As a veteran nanowrimist, I am here to kick off the official campaign to Talk You Into It, being that your first reaction will of course be, "no way in hell," "I have nothing to say," the perennial, self-important favorite "I'm too busy," and other commonly cited excuses for not writing a novel in four and a half weeks.

Why do I want you to participate? Because this year, I plan to blog the novel in progress, adding more real-time prose-waste to the landfill of internet narcissism choking the www, and I don't want to do it alone. For two years I have toiled in solitude, crashing protagonists into freeway dividers and pairing them in unseemly and cringeworthy sex scenes, and I have had no one to read it and say "man, that sucks" along the way. Nor have I ever had the pleasure of reading someone else's train wreck in those numerous November moments when I could no longer stand the sound of my own fingers on the keyboard. For two years, I've been like that sad guy who sailed around the world in a tiny sailboat, alone, with nothing but a short wave radio and some power bars. And although I suppose he made it, there was no one there to high five him when he saw the shore. And that's just sad.

So come on, people. Don't make me do this alone one more time. Start outlining your characters and/or plot right now, and I'll see you on November 1st.