Blak-sploitation
Holy mother of god, what is this product? I'm drivin' around my local 'burb where there used to be a lovely billboard over the tourist-dinner-train train tracks advertising some kind of really minty gum, and suddenly everything had changed. Now it's hawkin' Coca Cola Blak. I make haste to see how on earth Coke is going to position this latest unholy flavor hybrid. This "innovative carbonated fusion beverage" is here peddled as "mid-calorie" and targeted at restless "adult consumers" always hedonistically seeking that "new way to stay refreshed any time of day or night."
Based on the breathless pace of their godless flavor mixes and calorie ranges, Coke has apparently revealed via research that the average American soda pop consumer is in relentless pursuit of ever-increasingly grotesque frankenstinian beverage experiences, recalling to mind the similar conclusion of Pizza Hut with its unsavory stuffed crust campaign.
None of this will stop me from trying it.
posted by Strikethru at
9:33 AM
10 Comments:
So, you get my hopes all up, and then I spend an hour hunting around the site you link too...and I'm still unsatisfied. Where the hell can I find this mysterious elixir?
They're keepin you in suspense...
Hilarious. What we all need.
A certain lanky dairy farmer introducted me to your site.
I put it on mine as well.
Thanks
http://blog.goo.ne.jp/deuce1121/e/d2d4ec51ad1e69a6ac8f944f61625d6e
I know of this farmer. He is a bad man. Muy mal.
I can tell you that I have actually tasted this frankenbrau... I was at a Mariners game and they were giving them out on the way out of the game. I couldn't bring myself to try it immediately and it sat in my fridge for a few days until my hatered of grocery shopping and thirst finally won out. I have to say, the first sip was intriguing. Sort of like if you spilled state fair coffee on the ground into a puddle of coke and then dropped your cotton candy into the mixture. Then after it dissolved and mixed, you poured it into a glass bottle and chilled it. But further sips started me thinking seriously about the above scenario and I couldn't finish it. Probably not something I would ever get again, but I will perhaps always be able to recall my first taste of blak.
I first saw this stuff in Paris and I didn't realize it would later make it to America. Since the label was in French, I had no idea what it was supposed to be. Naturally, I had to try it. I thought it tasted like one of those bottled iced-coffee drinks that were popular in the really late '80s/early '90s (before Starbucks took over) mixed with Coke. Nasty stuff, but that didn't stop me from finishing the bottle. (On a side note, since there is a straight line -- not an accent mark -- over the "a," shouldn't it be pronounced like "blake?")
Imho, the people have spoken on this product. I saw a smashed bottle in the gutter yesterday.
I have yet to taste it.
Ok so we'll all try it in Montana. And since Y'all are so lame at huntin' things down I'll "get er done"
(sing-songy) Who's the cutest baby in the whole wide world?
I had forgotten the lyrics to that song... thanks :-)
I found the stuff. It's in a tiny 8 oz bottle and costs 1.69!
The girl at the checkout said "it's worth every penny I'm addicted."
And Matthew it isn't a straight line over the a but not quite wavy so maybe it's pronounced Blahk. But do we really care?
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