Comix: tiny dog weighs in

I read comics. Yes, those sub-amusing five-panel stalwarts in the "Lifestyles" section of the local paper that you don't subscribe to, those are the comics I'm talking about. Oh, hip, grim indie comics full of non-sequiturs and a grim world view are still a laff a minute, don't get me wrong, and I've read my share. But I somehow, against my better judgment, keep coming back around to the classics:

Cathy

Dorville has already discussed the Cathy phenom in an ancient peice that appeared on Tiny dog's defunct ancestor site, The Hall of Heads. I am not sure much more can be said about this comic since, for the entire duration of its thirty-year run, all that has happened is that Cathy has tried on swimsuits that she has determined to be immodest and undersized.

One solitary exception to the matter of trying on ill-fitting suits is that Cathy finally got around to marrying her dullsville boyfriend Irving in a series of strips I somehow successfully avoided in their entirety, but which are captured horrifyingly in a compendium.

Let us note that Cathy Guisewite still has not learned how to draw in three dimensions, although she has apparently been employed as an artist for a quarter of a century.

Verdict: Learn how to draw dogs, Cathy Guisewite.

Luann

Luann, disturbingly, is penned by a middle-aged man. It involves the foibles of a frumpy high-school she-nerd with whom I was often compared by my brother in my school days (fortunately the strip also features a clueless older brother, for retaliatory purposes).

Luann is reachingly earnest and unhip, and strives toward political correctness with its misty-eyed firefighter tributes, cancer-stricken heroes, and wheelchair romances. Probably its most odious storyline involved Aaron Hill, WASPy object of Luanne's teen dreams, actually interacting with Luann.

Verdict: It's sort of like "Family Ties" meets "Saved by the Bell" meets those inspirational tru-life stories in Reader's Digest, as rendered by a corny middle-aged guy. P.S. to my brother: I am NOT Luann but you are Brad jerk idiot. Also happy birthday little lose.

To be continued...