Real men love Jesus

Saw this bumper sticker while walkin' around the burbs, slapped on some sort of ironically godforsaken hatchback, the kind of car angry young dudes drive around before they come in to money of any kind. It occurred to me that this Jesus heartin' dude may in fact not be acquainted with the reasons that Jesus does not actually exist (at least as a deity; as my brother once said, "I don't dispute that there was probably some dude named Jesus walking around in the dirt two centuries ago.").

Just a few of the myriad reasons that Earth spins on, god-free, in the cold vacuum of space:

1. All that obvious stuff like genocide, tsnunamis, and war. Let's just get that out of the way right now so we can get down to the trivial points of proof.

2. "Two and a Half Men" is a popular show. So is "According to Jim." Hundreds of thousands of Americans sit in their living rooms, laughing when these shows are on the TV.

3. Tummy time. I had to throw this in on request of a certain small baby.

4. A land-raping fundamentalist Republican asshat will win the 2008 presidential election by a landslide.

Still not convinced?

5. KFC Famous Bowls. Incidentally, why the plural? I only see one option here, the one that has the KFC prep table dregs dredged in gravy and cheese.