Man Laws

Men, in case you haven't happened by a TV lately, Miller Lite has taken on the task of defining a code of conduct for your gender, known as the Man Laws, in the interest of selling you diet beer.

It will surprise no one that the Man Laws generally center on the proper dispensation of nachos and brew, and the relative value of bro's to ho's, but there are of course other, lesser man laws that it may behoove you to review. Thus tiny-dog presents you with the following mandatory statutes of boy-havior. Review and adhere:

• Once You Have set up a Man-Room in your House, Outfitted with Home Networking Equipment, a La-Z Boy, or Video Games, You Have Officially Reached That Point in your Life Where You Hide from Women to Take Naps, Otherwise Known as Middle Age.
• You Do Not Need That New Digital Doohickey. The Old One Works Fine.
• Ben Stiller Isn't Funny. Neither is Will Ferrell. Except that Zoolander is Kind of Funny I Guess if your Standards are Low.
• If You Are Losing Your Hair, Do Not Persist With your Former Hairstyle. It Doesn't Work Anymore.
• Plastic Surgery is Extremely Un-Manly, Which Calls Into Serious Question the Presence of Burt Reynolds on the Man Laws Bench.
• It Is No Longer Possible to Impress People With Your Cell Phone. It Doesn't Matter Which One You Have.
• If You Drink Miller Lite, You Need to Get a Better-Paying Job.

There are others, but it wouldn't do well to overwhelm manly-kind with too many behaviorial bromides, since Miller Lite.com is currently churning them out at Wiki-speed. Thus, with these laws in mind, go forward and live large like the men that you are.