Deathbottle!

My local paper today made the following totally reasonable and in no way fanatical and drastic suggestions to those of us hoping to avoid ingesting toxic chemicals that have oops! been leaching from products we have used every hour of our lives:

1) Use glass bottles. Except that oh wait-- that's right-- no one has manufactured glass baby bottles since 1930. Because gawsh, who could possibly see a problem with giving a shatter-prone glass item to small uncivilized people who like to smash and chew things?

2) Don't use, heat, or wash plastic dishes and containers. Oh sure. Thanks PI! That should be no problem. When was the last time you saw a plastic food container?

3) Avoid canned food and drinks. This one's a slam dunk. I mean, canned food and drinks are a food packaging trend that has been on the wane here in the US for decades.

If for some reason you can't follow these simple tips consistently, your child and or yourself *might* develop some extremely serious illness that has possibly been hinted at in a theoretical double-blind study involving kangaroo rats, although other studies may possibly totally contradict these concrete findings in every way. No one knows for sure. All we know is this: play it safe by doing the little things: do not eat, drink, or clean your house.