Letters to tiny dog

Attention readers!! I must draw your attention to this truly horrifying letter just received at the offices of tiny dog this afternoon:

April 30, 2001

OH MY GOD the horror.... the realization that I; a direct sibling of the premier author of your mighty website; have had the same recurring dream (variation #2 to be exact) quite literally hundreds of times over the past 15 years... has left me shaken to my very core. The end of the School year has approached.. I am in fact quite old and somehow still in High School... there are classes I knew I had signed up for at the beginning of the school year but have not attended all year. I'm wandering the campus panicked because I know finals are going on and I've skipped class all year. I walk into one of these classes horrified that the teacher will vaguely remember me from orientation day and hand me out an exam half-way through the hour laughing as he realizes I will bomb. I realize I will be stuck in high-school forever repeating this hellish nightmare. I am literally running across campus trying to remember what portable building room# "English 2" was being taught all year while I was (no doubt) elsewhere pursuing my current life. I then awake out of breath and distraught... my vision obscured from the pillow feathers dancing down around me.

Note from tiny dog: I have truly had this exact variation of this dream. I mean I am not in any way joking here people!!

So tiny-dog I ask you... how is this possible? Do we perhaps share the same brain? Were we both subjected to the same Air-Force poisened well-water in Carmichael, CA in the 70's? Was our mutual and frequent childhood consumption of "Circus Fun Cereal" (tm) the catalyst for a life forever stained by nightly terrors filled with the horrors of high school anxiety twisted and magnified as if by a circus fun-house mirror? Could our frequent consumption of Wacky Wafers candy after having rolled them down the steep hills of oakbough way and plucking them from the rain drenched gutters of Moraga have in anyway contributed to our psychosis? I fear that spending every summer day for years swimming in ice-cold water for 11 hours followed by sawing graham crackers in half with other graham crackers into a tupperware bowl while sitting wrapped in a soaking wet Scooby-Doo beach towel on the floor while watching The Brady Bunch could very well have been the final straw that pushed us into our current state of dementia.

OH TINY-DOG... YOU MUST HELP US. I am confident that your tiny-brain can and will, no doubt, unravel this ball of psychological yarn and perhaps weave a blanket of truth.

I only ask you one more thing tiny-dog.... do tiny-dogs have tiny-dreams?

Sincerely,

-Kenneth A. Lowry

Dear Kenneth,

My god.... the horror of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is clear that we as a family are apparently but a floppy rag doll in the jaws of a phenomenon far beyond the grasp of our shattered Larchmont lives. The subject of this bedeviling dream will require much more thought and analysis... perhaps an interpretation by a qualified dream professional, to be published in the future here on tiny dog.

As for tiny dogs and their dreams, it is a known fact that due to the gross discrepancy between the physical mass of tiny dogs and their gargantuan egos and misperceptions, they in fact dream in Imax proportions. Nora, of tiny-dog banner graphic fame, has confirmed this to be so.

signed,

a shaken tiny dog

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