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Attention
readers!! I must draw your attention to this truly horrifying
letter just received at the offices of tiny dog this afternoon:
April
30, 2001
OH MY GOD
the horror.... the realization that I; a direct sibling of the
premier author of your mighty website; have had the same recurring
dream (variation #2 to be exact) quite literally hundreds of times
over the past 15 years... has left me shaken to my very core.
The end of the School year has approached.. I am in fact quite
old and somehow still in High School... there are classes I knew
I had signed up for at the beginning of the school year but have
not attended all year. I'm wandering the campus panicked because
I know finals are going on and I've skipped class all year. I
walk into one of these classes horrified that the teacher will
vaguely remember me from orientation day and hand me out an exam
half-way through the hour laughing as he realizes I will bomb.
I realize I will be stuck in high-school forever repeating this
hellish nightmare. I am literally running across campus trying
to remember what portable building room# "English 2"
was being taught all year while I was (no doubt) elsewhere pursuing
my current life. I then awake out of breath and distraught...
my vision obscured from the pillow feathers dancing down around
me.
Note
from tiny dog: I have truly had this exact variation of this dream.
I mean I am not in any way joking here people!!
So tiny-dog I ask you... how is this possible? Do we perhaps share
the same brain? Were we both subjected to the same Air-Force poisened
well-water in Carmichael, CA in the 70's? Was our mutual and frequent
childhood consumption of "Circus Fun Cereal" (tm) the
catalyst for a life forever stained by nightly terrors filled
with the horrors of high school anxiety twisted and magnified
as if by a circus fun-house mirror? Could our frequent consumption
of Wacky Wafers candy after having rolled them down the steep
hills of oakbough way and plucking them from the rain drenched
gutters of Moraga have in anyway contributed to our psychosis?
I fear that spending every summer day for years swimming in ice-cold
water for 11 hours followed by sawing graham crackers in half
with other graham crackers into a tupperware bowl while sitting
wrapped in a soaking wet Scooby-Doo beach towel on the floor while
watching The Brady Bunch could very well have been the final straw
that pushed us into our current state of dementia.
OH TINY-DOG... YOU MUST HELP US. I am confident that your tiny-brain
can and will, no doubt, unravel this ball of psychological yarn
and perhaps weave a blanket of truth.
I only ask you one more thing tiny-dog.... do tiny-dogs have tiny-dreams?
Sincerely,
-Kenneth A. Lowry
Dear
Kenneth,
My
god.... the horror of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is clear that we
as a family are apparently but a floppy rag doll in the jaws of
a phenomenon far beyond the grasp of our shattered Larchmont lives.
The subject of this bedeviling dream will require much more thought
and analysis... perhaps an interpretation by a qualified dream
professional, to be published in the future here on tiny dog.
As
for tiny dogs and their dreams, it is a known fact that due to
the gross discrepancy between the physical mass of tiny dogs and
their gargantuan egos and misperceptions, they in fact dream in
Imax proportions. Nora, of tiny-dog banner graphic fame, has confirmed
this to be so.
signed,
a
shaken tiny dog
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