August 04, 2004
Weep for the children
Dear Tiny-Dog,
I weep for the next generation.. and the world destined to crumble in their apathetic hands. As you know I've been quite the avid videogame fan since birth (perhaps starting several years before birth). Having resisted the "online gaming" craze entirely until now due to my admittedly cynical and oft' mocked "observations" about the sociopathic 13-year old denizen's that pervade its murky William Gibsonesque otherworlds.. I suddenly found myself thinking, in a rare moment of Steve Irwin'ish optimism, "Let's try it! I wonder what all the fuss is really about?"
Being an engineer I admit the amazing mountain of technology and human achievement that has resulted in the existence of the Xbox Live infrastructure. world-changing computing technology sitting in a plastic box selling for cheaper than it cost to manufacture riding on top of 30+ years of evolving networking infrastructure that has changed they very nature of human communication.
Excited.. I configure my wireless 80211/g Xbox hub (a device that would have made me an immortal god in the eyes of mankind from only 2 generations before me).. I insert "Amped 2" into the Xbox.. connect amazingly quickly to one of the "online" sessions of video-snowboarding hosted by someone nick-named "Slam-Monkey".. and behold I am finally online! I am greeted by a 12-year old future leader...(verbatim quote):
"Dude.. Get the F$## Off here immediately or I'll rape your A$$ with a splintered Hate rod!"
.. and POOF... I'm escorted off-line in 7 seconds.
As I sat there.. goofy headphones dangling from my ears.. cardboard warranty registration cards sprinkled about my feet.. I watched my cat playing, blissfully with a dirty sock... and I'm not sure... but I swear I heard a chuckle..
Steve Irwin knows what I'm talkin' about.......
-There's a Rat in Atari
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear reader,
Alas, the horrifying union is nigh, of amoral, sociopathic "Lord ot the Flies" pig-killers in short-pants, and the dumbed-down, market-priced access to "virtual" living room entertainments like Xbox Live, linking a nation of half-cooked, dysfunctional minds, like segments of a tapworm, across miles of mindless, macho gaming diversions, replete with "shit talking" hardware headsets. Curiosity has snared you in the wriggling links of this sub-literate pre-adolescent beast, and you now bear the scars.
Let this be a lesson to us all. 
|
