Dear Mr. Tick,

I have an insane cat. I feel I must explain. I also have a few ferrets (7) and they tend to cause my feline to exhibit symtoms that are contrary to "cat-norm". So I feel that B.C. (Black Cat) actually thinks that he is a ferret. He does ferret things like play under blankets, bite ankles etc....you get the idea. As if it weren't bad enough, but I feel that the fuzz ball is suffering from a distinctive image problem. He tends to do some quite neurotic things like sitting and chewing on rubber bands or attacking a person for no apparent reason other than to inflict serious bodily harm to appendages. I've had it up to here! (and I'm running out of body parts!) On top of it all, my finace likes to pull the poor animal's tail when he least expects it. What's a poor ower to do?!?!?

Signed,

Ruffled Fur

Friend,

Fortunately for you and your situation, friend, Mr. Tick spent his Christmas closely observing the behavior of two felines to get to the root of whether or not the above behavior you describe is in fact common to felines, or a peculiar and ferret-induced abberation present only in your own cat.

Mr. Tick has definitively concluded the following behaviors to be strictly within statistical cat norms:

  • Playing under blankets
  • Biting ankles
  • Attacking a person for no apparent reason other than to inflict serious bodily harm to appendages
  • Climbing on you when you are playing video games and sleeping on the wrist that you need to use the controller
  • Walking across computer keyboards, launching applications and turning off the brightness control
  • Waking from a dead sleep suddenly and launching into an insane fit of hunting other cat to the death

These are but a few of the seemingly abberant behaviors that are in fact widely observed in this strange creature we call the cat. Therefore Mr. Tick scientifically concludes that your cat's behavior deviates from cat norms only in the following respect: he is not eating the ferrets.

Peace to you friend,

Mr. Tick

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