December
2003 | A
jing jing jinglin #$@!
Ok
never mind that rant from yesterday where I claimed to have nothing
to say. I actually have a fine selection of holiday classics for
your perusal, as it is somewhat of a half-assed tiny dog tradition
to produce Christmas related content for your yuletide amusement.
Something new is in the works, but meantime you would be the most
foolish of fools to pass up the following two canonical tomes of
holiday enchantment, including, bonus rants below:
A
Charlie Brown Christmas in the 90's
 Read
more about the history of this lewd and dubious
holiday classic and peruse the panels that ripped away the sacred
innocence of Linus pondering the true meaning of the season, leaving
us instead with fear, remorse, and disgust at the scourge of modern
times.
Albert,
the Fake Christmas Tree
 In
somewhat more of a spirit of innocence, read
the following Christmas fable that has always played out through
the ages but has heretofore been drowned out by the sad sack tale
of rudolph, wannabe dull nosed tweenage reindeer, or the dubious
redemption of the Grinch, who was pressured by the masses to just
keep his wholly legitimate criticisms of the commercialization of
the holiday season to himself, and pass the friggin roast beast.
The
story of Albert, The Fake Christmas Tree is a tale
of sorrow and faith, and ultimately, of the redemptive powers of
being fake.
Bonus:
Random holiday rants retrospective
As
you prepare yourself to hear the magical dance of reindeer hooves
upon your cottage roof, delivering tiny dogø's upcoming negative
ramble about the hideous spectacle of holiday overspending and mandatory
office parties, sample from the cookie tray of prior year's whiny
screeds upon this behemoth of commercialism and conformity, and
warm your hands over my backdated bitterness and bile.
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peeps. Send mail to mail@tiny-dog.com.
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