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January
2003 |He
Stole the Money... and He's Not Giving it Back
 Anyway,
this year at least looks promising on the cinematic front, as
tonight has finally arrived.... the sneak preview for a movie
that can only be fairly described as flat-out, Pepsi Blue-spewingly
hilarious, a film that makes American Pie and Animal House seem
about as funny as Schindler's List. How did movie executives finally
hit upon the elusive elixir of hilarity Americans crave,
Kangaroo Jack, just in time for 2003? We can only
thank them as we flock to theaters, ready to part with $8 in exchange
for the laugh of our collective lifetime.
The
phenomenon that Kangaroo Jack embodies is described generally
by the term "digi-lips," coined by a certain Ken Lowry,
which means essentially computer generated lips grafted on animals
for the purpose of general cinematic hilarity.
That
American moviegoers love fake, anthropomorphized special effects
on our big screen critters is a matter of no dispute. Animals
acting like animals -- which precludes wearing Adidas windbreakers
stuffed with cash and rapping in a downpour of greenbacks-- is
distinctly unfunny and is usually restricted to pedantic small-screen
documentaries like "Secrets of the Black Mamba" and
"The Crocodile Hunter" on Animal Planet.
 Cats
& Dogs is an excellent example of the genre,
which employs the literal digilips effect, using real-life animals
(and in some scenes, weirdly taxidermized puppet simulations)
with digital lips grafted on by a fleet of self-congratulating
pencil-necked special effects guys at Disney. The digilips allow
the beasts to trade witty quips (with voice-overs from popular
Hollywood stars) about their notably un-petlike endeavors to execute
(cats) and prevent (dogs, always the suck-ups) a takeover of the
world.
You
don't need me to tell you that this is hilarious-- a real beagle
with the voice of Tobey Maguire --delivered with incongruous,
grafted digital lips-- making sanitized, family-friendly jokes
about chemical warfare waged by Persian cats. Name one thing about
that scenario that fails to be a kick in the pants. I know! I
can't either.
I
guess my point is, is that we should all thank the movie conglorporations
for being tuned into our insatiable desire for this form of digitized
critter entertainment. Without them, we would be forced to purchase
gift-boxed DVD reissues of Mr. Ed, Seasons 1-2, to get our fill
of digilips. No, thanks.
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